HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
