your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
