Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
