chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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