yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
