I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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