Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize