Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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