Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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