She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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