Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
