her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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