At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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