Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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