belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Less talking, more tequila
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
