Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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