she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
