I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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