Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i think my mom watched the whole time
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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