M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
