everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
