i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm too high and old for this...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize