Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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