I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize