Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
