I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
