can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize