Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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