so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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