we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
