I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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