She said her name was "party"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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