Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
