Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
