he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
