We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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