he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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