Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
