Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.