and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?