I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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