Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
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they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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