Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
