Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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