I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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