This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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