I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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