...so i touched it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
no, he came in my armpit
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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