Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize