Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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