at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
