He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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