just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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