and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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