i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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