I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
