I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize