I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
